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Seussical - - Lyrics

 

How To Raise A Child

MRS. MAYOR 
He was Mommy's little boy. 

MR. MAYOR 
He was Daddy's little man.

BOTH
He was never any trouble till this...
"Thinking Thing" began!

MR. MAYOR 
We must both lay down the law. 

MRS. MAYOR 
Will he hate us?

MR. MAYOR 
Maybe so.

MAYOR & MRS. MAYOR 
Oh, where are the instructions 
On how to raise a child?
Who has the instructions 
On how to raise a child? 
Who has all the answers? 
I don't know. 

(The CAT pops up and hands them a brochure.)

MRS. MAYOR (Reading)
Does your child give you troubles?
Do his grades keep on shrinking?

MR. MAYOR (Reading)
Does he drive teachers wild
With his uncontrolled thinking?

MR. & MRS. MAYOR (Reading)
As a parent, are you
Overwhelmed? Insecure?
The help that you seek 
Is inside this brochure!

(An alarm clock goes off, loudly. JOJO's parents put on big, cheerful smiles and wake him)

MAYOR
It's nine, son.
Rise and shine, son, 
It's a very special day!

MRS. MAYOR
Get dressed, dear.
Look your best, dear.
Soon you will be on your way.

MAYOR
Now, here is your pencil.


MRS. MAYOR
Here are your mittens.

MAYOR & MRS. MAYOR
Here is your sword --

JOJO
My...sword?

(The CAT IN THE HAT blows a fanfare as 
GENERAL GENGHIS KAHN SCHMITZ arrives grandly.)

SCHMITZ 
I'm General Genghis Kahn Schmitz.
I scare children out of their wits.
But you'll see at a glance, sir, 
My school is the answer 
For shirkers and dreamers and twits... 
And in this case, I'd say the shoe fits! 

Ten hut! Feet together. Chin up. Eyes on the prize, forward ... Harch! 

(JOJO begins to march in place.)

 

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