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Seussical - - Lyrics

 

Military, The

SCHMITZ 
The military academy 
Is the place where he should be sent. 
We'll drill the silliness from his head- 
I'm sure we'll make a dent! 

We'll teach him fighting 
And left and righting 
Until he's muscled and tan! 
A-hut-two-three! 
He's pathetic! 
A-hut-two-three! 
Unathletic! 
A-hut-two-three! 
But I'm betting we can! 
The military! 
That's what makes a boy... 
A man! 

(CADETS enter)

CADETS
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz,
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz,

SCHMITZ
Look at these boys. 
Why, you'd never know that just a few short months ago this one hummed in the shower! 
This one couldn't color within the lines. And this one actually had an Opinion!

SCHMITZ
Our boys believe 
In the right of every who 
To eat their bread 
Butter side up! 

CADETS
Butter side up!

SCHMITZ 
One thing we trust
On this fragile speck of dust
Is eating bread 
Butter side up!

JOJO
Butter side up? 

SCHMITZ 
And as for those who like their butter down

CADETS 
Down! Down! Down!

SCHMITZ, CADETS 
We'll go to war 
And run them out of town! 

(DANCE BREAK, in which the CADETS perform military exercises. 
JOJO tries to imitate them with little success.)

CADETS 
A-hut-two-three! 

SCHMITZ 
We enlist 'em. 

CADETS 
A-Hut-Two-Three 

SCHMITZ 
In our system. 
And boys soon see 
Nothing's easier than... 
The military! 

SCHMITZ CADETS
That's what makes a boy... 
That's what makes a boy... That's what makes a boy ... That's what makes a boy... 
A man!!! A man!!! 

(SCHMITZ starts a "marching call" and the CADETS begin to march off in line. 
JOJO tries to keep up.)

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9.1 THE MILITARY (PLAYOFF: GREEN EGGS AND HAM)

SCHMITZ 
I do not like green eggs and ham! 

CADETS 
Do not like green eggs and ham! 

SCHMITZ 
I do not like them, Sam I am! 

CADETS 
Do not like them, Sam I am! 

SCHMITZ 
Sound off!

CADETS 
Eggs and ham! 

SCHMITZ 
Sound off!

CADETS 
Sam I am! 

SCHMITZ & CADETS 
I do not like green eggs... 
And ham! 
Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz, Schmitz...

(JOJO'S PARENTS are gone as the scene transitions to JOJO'S military school, 
HE is now alone in his bunk bed. 
Simultaneously we see HORTON alone, guarding his clover. Night falls.)

 

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