MARK
Maureen’s performance.
MAUREEN (in front of a microphone)
Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland.
It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty.
Out of the abyss walked a cow — Elsie.
I asked if she had anything to drink.
She said, “I’m forbidden to produce milk.
In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke.”
She said, “Only thing to do is jump over the moon”
“They’ve closed everything real down … like barns, troughs, performance spaces …
And replaced it all with lies and rules and virtual life.
But there is a way out …
BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith
MAUREEN
“Only thing to do is jump over the moon”
I gotta get out of here! It’s like I’m being tied
to the hood of a yellow rental truck, being packed
in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff
by a suicidal Mickey Mouse! — I’ve gotta find a way
MAUREEN
“To jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon”
BACKUPS
Leap of faith, etc.
MAUREEN
Then a little bulldog entered. His name (we have learned) was Benny.
And although he once had principles,
He abandoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution.
“That’s bull,” he said.
“Ever since the cat took up the fiddle, that cow’s been jumpy.
And the dish and the spoon were evicted from the table — and eloped …
She’s had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since.
Maybe it’s a female thing.
‘Cause who’d want to leave Cyberland anyway?…
Walls ain’t so bad.
The dish and the spoon for instance.
They were down on their luck – knocked on my doghouse door.
I said, “Not in my backyard, utensils! Go back to China!”
“The only way out is up,” Elsie whispered to me.
“A leap of faith. Still thirsty?” she asked.
Parched. “Have some milk.”
I lowered myself beneath her and held my mouth to her swollen udder
And sucked the sweetest milk I’d ever tasted.”
(MAUREEN makes a slurping, sucking sound.)
“Climb on board,” she said.
And as a harvest moon rose over Cyberland,
We reared back and sprang into a gallop.
Leaping out of orbit!!!
I awoke singing
BACKUPS
Leap of faith, etc.
MAUREEN
Only thing to do
Only thing to do is jump
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Over the moon — over the
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moo with me.
(MAUREEN encourages the audience to moo with her.
She says, “C’mon, sir, moo with me,” etc. The audience responds. When the
“moos” reach a crescendo, she cuts them off with a big sweep of her arms.)
Thank you.
(Blackout.)
