Matron: The whole world’s gone low-brow. Things ain’t what they used to be. Velma: They sure ain’t, Mama. They sure ain’t. It’s all gone. Whatever happened to fair dealing? And pure ethics And nice manners? Why is it everyone now is a pain in the ass? Whatever happened to class? Matron: Class. Whatever happened to,…
Bailiff: Mr. Flynn, his honor is here Billy: Thank you. Just a moment. You ready? Roxie: Oh Billy, I’m so scared! Billy: Roxie. You got nothing to worry about. It’s all a circus, kid. A three ring circus. These trial – the whole world – all show business. But kid, you’re working with a star,…
Velma: Billy, I been thinkin’ a lot about my trial. Couldn’t I just show you what I thought I might do on the witness stand? Billy: Go ahead. Velma: Good! Hit it! Well then, when I got on the stand I thought I’d take a peek at the jury. Then I’d cross my legs like…
Amos: I’m the father! Papa! Dada! Did you hear me? Did you? No, you didn’t hear me. That’s the story of my life. Nobody ever knows I’m around. Nobody. Not even my parents noticed me. One day I went to school and when I came home, they moved. Amos: If someone stood up in a…
Roxie: Me and my baby My baby and me We’re ’bout as happy As babies can be What if I find That I’m caught in a storm? I don’t care My baby’s there And baby’s bound to keep me warm We’re sticking together And ain’t we got fun So much together You’d count us as…
Velma: Hello suckers, welcome back. Roxie’s in there being looked over by the State Medical Examiner. She says she’s gonna have a baby. Now why didn’t I think of that? Velma: Can you imagine? I mean can you imagine? Do you believe it? I mean, do you believe it? I know a girl A girl…
Roxie: One thing I know Velma: One thing I know Roxie: And I’ve always known Velma: And I’ve always known Roxie: I am my own Velma: I am my own Roxie & Velma: Best friend Roxie: Baby’s alive Velma: Baby’s alive Roxie: But baby’s alone Velma: But baby’s alone Roxie: And baby’s her own Velma:…
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation. Velma: My sister and I had an act that couldn’t flop My sister and I were headed straight for the top My sister and I eared a thou a week at least (Oh, sure) But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased Oh, I…
Roxie: The name on everybody’s lips Is gonna be Roxie The lady rakin’ in the chips Is gonna be Roxie I’m gonna be a celebrity That means somebody everyone knows They’re gonna recognize my eyes My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose From just some dumb mechanic’s wife I’m gonna be Roxie Who says…
Matron: Mr. Flynn, the reporters are here. Billy: Let ’em in, Butch. Okay, Roxie, act like a dummy; you sit on my lap and do all the talking. Matron: Mr. Billy Flynn sings the “Press Conference Rag” – notice how his mouth never moves – almost. Reporters: Where’d you come from? Billy (as Roxie): Mississippi…