Matron:
Mr. Flynn, the reporters are here.
Billy:
Let ’em in, Butch. Okay, Roxie, act like a dummy; you sit
on my lap and do all the talking.
Matron:
Mr. Billy Flynn sings the “Press Conference Rag” – notice
how his mouth never moves – almost.
Reporters:
Where’d you come from?
Billy (as Roxie):
Mississippi
Reporters:
And your parents?
Billy (as Roxie):
Very wealthy.
Reporters:
Where are they now?
Billy (as Roxie):
Six feet under.
Billy:
But she was granted one more start
Billy (as Roxie):
The convent of the sacred heart!
Reporters:
When’d you get there?
Billy (as Roxie):
1920
Reporters:
How old were you?
Billy (as Roxie):
Don’t remember
Reporters:
Then what happened?
Billy (as Roxie):
I met Amos
And he stole my hear away
Convinced me to elope one day
Mary Sunshine:
A convent girl! A run-away marriage! Oh, it’s too terrible.
You poor, poor dear.
Reporters:
Who’s Fred Casely?
Billy (as Roxie):
My ex-boy friend.
Reporters:
Why’d you shoot him.
Billy (as Roxie):
I was leavin’.
Reporters:
Was he angry?
Billy (as Roxie):
Like a madman!
Still I said, “Fred, move along.”
Billy:
She knew that she was doin’ wrong
Reporters:
Then describe it
Billy (as Roxie):
He came toward me.
Reporters:
With a pistol?
Billy (as Roxie):
From my bureau
Reporters:
Did you fight him?
Billy (as Roxie):
Like a tiger
Billy:
He had strength and she had none
Billy (as Roxie):
And yet we both reached for the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both
Oh yes, we both
Oh yes, we both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun
For the gun.
Billy and Reporters:
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun
For the gun.
Billy:
Understandable, understandable
Yes, it’s perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It’s so defensible!
Reporters:
How you’re feeling?
Billy (as Roxie):
Very frightened
Reporters:
Are you sorry?
Roxie:
Are you kidding?
Reporters:
What’s your statement?
Billy (as Roxie):
All I’d say is
Though my choo-choo jumped my track
I’d give my life to bring him back
Reporters:
And?
Billy (as Roxie):
Stay away from
Reporters:
What?
Billy (as Roxie):
Jazz and liquor
Reporters:
And?
Billy (as Roxie):
And the man who
Reporters:
What?
Billy (as Roxie):
Play for fun
Reporters:
And what?
Billy (as Roxie):
That’s the thought that
Reporters:
Yeah!
Billy (as Roxie):
Came upon me
Reporters:
When?
Billy (as Roxie):
When we both reached for the gun!
Mary Sunshine:
Understandable, understandable
Billy and Mary Sunshine:
Yes, it’s perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It’s so defensible!
Billy and the Reporters:
Let me Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Hear it! Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun,
The gun
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun
A little louder! For the gun.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun, the gun,
Now you got it! The gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached
For the gun
For the gun.
Billy and the Reporters:
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, they both reached for the gun.
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
Oh yes, they both reached for
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun.
Billy:
Both reached for the…gun
Reporters:
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun
Both reached for the gun.
First Reporter:
“Stop The Presses!”
Second Reporter:
“‘We Both Reached For The Gun,’ Says Roxie!”
Third Reporter:
“Dancing Feet Lead To Sorrow, Says Beautiful Jazz Slayer!”
Fifth Reporter:
“Jazz And Liquor, Roxie’s Downfall!”
