Velma: Hello suckers, welcome back. Roxie’s in there being looked over by the State Medical Examiner. She says she’s gonna have a baby. Now why didn’t I think of that? Velma: Can you imagine? I mean can you imagine? Do you believe it? I mean, do you believe it? I know a girl A girl…
Roxie: One thing I know Velma: One thing I know Roxie: And I’ve always known Velma: And I’ve always known Roxie: I am my own Velma: I am my own Roxie & Velma: Best friend Roxie: Baby’s alive Velma: Baby’s alive Roxie: But baby’s alone Velma: But baby’s alone Roxie: And baby’s her own Velma:…
ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation. Velma: My sister and I had an act that couldn’t flop My sister and I were headed straight for the top My sister and I eared a thou a week at least (Oh, sure) But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased Oh, I…
Roxie: The name on everybody’s lips Is gonna be Roxie The lady rakin’ in the chips Is gonna be Roxie I’m gonna be a celebrity That means somebody everyone knows They’re gonna recognize my eyes My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose From just some dumb mechanic’s wife I’m gonna be Roxie Who says…
Matron: Mr. Flynn, the reporters are here. Billy: Let ’em in, Butch. Okay, Roxie, act like a dummy; you sit on my lap and do all the talking. Matron: Mr. Billy Flynn sings the “Press Conference Rag” – notice how his mouth never moves – almost. Reporters: Where’d you come from? Billy (as Roxie): Mississippi…
Mary Sunshine: When I was a tiny tot Of maybe two or three I can still remember what My mother said to me… Place rose colored glasses on your nose And you will see the robins Not the crows For in the tense and tangled web Our weary lives can weave You’re so much better…
Girls: We want Billy Give us Billy B. I. Double L. Y. We’re all his He’s our kind of a guy And ooh what luck ‘Cause here he is… Billy: Is everybody here? Is everybody ready? Hit it! I don’t care about expensive things Cashmere coats, diamond rings Don’t mean a thing All I care…
Matron: Ask any of the chickies in my pen They’ll tell I’m the biggest mother hen I love ’em all and all of them love me Because the system works The system called reciprocity… Got a little motto Always sees me through When you’re good to Mama Mama’s good to you! There’s a lot of…
Liz: Pop. Annie: Six. June: Squish. Hunyak: Uh-Uh. Velma: Cicero. Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: Pop. Annie: Six. June: Squish. Hunyak: Uh-Uh. Velma: Cicero. Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: Pop. Annie: Six. June: Squish. Hunyak: Uh-Uh. Velma: Cicero. Mona: Lipschitz! Liz: Pop. Annie: Six. June: Squish. Hunyak: Uh-Uh. Velma: Cicero. Mona: Lipschitz! All: He had it coming He had…
ANNOUNCER: For her first number, Miss Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of love and devotion dedicated to her dear husband Amos. FUNNY HONEY Roxie: Sometimes I’m right Sometimes I’m wrong But he doesn’t care He’ll string along He loves me so That funny honey of mine! Sometimes I’m down Sometimes I’m up…